no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
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