I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Bring me that man meat
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
