so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just want to make out with him forever
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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