So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
