Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
