it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
