You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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