I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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