so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
