Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize