just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
