I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I think my moral compass just broke
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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