how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I enjoy the company of your penis
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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