Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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