How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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