Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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