We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
