omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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