Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
