thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
