What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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