I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
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I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
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If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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