i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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