Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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