Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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