We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize