I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize