Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize