And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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