Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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