you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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