I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
