I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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