Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
