I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
