Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
