That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Still dying that you shit outside
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
