It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
