Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
