YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
