i already hear my dad disowning me
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
