dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
