I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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