you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I wear drunk well.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
