i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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