shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
