im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
