It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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