you traded sex for a burrito?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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