LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
