All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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