I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
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He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
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Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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