I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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