so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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