The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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