the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
