YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
