lets start a swedish sibling band together
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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