Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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