Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
